PR needed here: February 2009 Archives
"You're welcome," long a popular part of daily speech and a polite acknowledgement to "thank you," has died of natural causes after a long period of abandonment by the culture. It is survived by its distant relatives, "no problem," "not a problem," "uh-huh" and "whatever."
While "you're welcome's" birth date is unknown, the phrase first appeared in the 1907 edition of the Oxford English Dictionary. During most of the 20th century, the phrase issued from the lips of the most genteel people in the world.
But in recent years it has been in declining health, abandoned by the keepers of the culture. Even noted linguist Deborah Tannen gave up on the phrase.
"You're supposed to say something that minimizes the pleasure when you do something for someone," said Tannen, a linguistics professor at Georgetown University in Washington.
"No problem" is a clearer expression of minimized pleasure, she said.
"No problem" is a clearer expression of minimized pleasure, she said.
When contacted, "no problem," a night manager at Applebee's in Plano, Texas, expressed little regret over "you're welcome's" passing.
"If I don't seem to care, well my bad," he said. "Just saying."
We've all had one. That moment you wish you could take back. Maybe you were impatient with your child, a colleague, or a loved one. Perhaps you laughed at someone's expense. Or uncorked some profanity in an inappropriate situation.
You know why you did it. You were tired, you had had enough, you weren't really thinking, you had a few drinks, you were just careless. You thought you were safe.
There's nothing new about the one bad moment. What's new is the omnipresence of recording devices and ways to share digital information. So today, your own bad moment can become permanently attached to you. It can go viral. And so, despite a lifetime of almost always doing the right thing, this one bad moment becomes the stain that never goes away.
Actor Christian Bale exploded on the set of Terminator 4, and his tirade has gone viral. The rant occurred in front of a small audience. But the recording has been shared millions of times. On YouTube, you can hear mashups of the rant with dance music and Dora the Explorer. There are currently about 40 videos featuring the profanity-laced rant. One has more than 2,320,000 page views.
"Christian Bale? Isn't he that spoiled hothead? Oh, and I think he acted in some movies, too."
Bale is not alone. Michael Richards had his bad moment. So did Michael Phelps. The pace of these moments seems to be accelerating. A-Rod lies about steroid use. Chris Brown may have assaulted his girlfriend, pop star Rihanna. Squeaky-clean Disney actress/singer Miley Cyrus appears to mock Asians. And that's just from the past few days!
So please, be careful out there. And more importantly: be good. It is true: your true character is revealed by your behavior when you think no one is watching.
A more difficult issue that deserves further discussion: forgiveness. As a culture, how can we forgive people that we really don't know? The viral qualities of a bad moment are far more powerful than those of atonement.
